Filed under Writing …

Jan 08 2012
Leave a comment
Observations, Words, Writing

My Life Lessons to Live By…

New Year has been rife with new life agendas, which are great, but can also be a flapping, restless albatross around your neck. Bad habits are usually to blame for not seeing most of them through. You get older, you get wiser and you start thinking, “God, I wish I thought like this 10 years ago.” Best thing you can do I find is not punish yourself too much. It’s never worth it and it starts an endless cycle of negativity which you never get out of. My friend Christian Taylor posted a link to Marc and Angel Hack Life on Facebook at Christmas featuring numerous inspiring posts to lead a better life, all of which boil down to a few simple action points I try to remember each day. My ‘unofficial’ god-daughter was one years-old this week, so I thought I should write these life lessons out for her and anyone else interested in how I approach life:

‘LIVE’ each day:

L for LOVE.
Be open to it and never be afraid to love back. Of course it can rock your world and break your heart and soul, but as my friend Julia said “That’s when you know you’re alive”. Never assume it will be the same experience either, so being afraid to take a risk because you were hurt before is rather pointless and prevents you from finding something true and real. Optimism is really important to keep with you when a relationship ends, and friends and family are usually there to remind you of that – so listen to them.

I for INTERESTING
Be fascinating. Be unpredictable. Everyday. Go out of your comfort zone and there will never be a dull moment. Fear is just the result of something you’ve not experienced yet and I really don’t care what anyone thinks most of the time (apart from the odd wobbly moment I usually regret). People are worried and embarrassed for themselves rather than for you – despite their apparent concern. No one ever becomes stronger or more popular by being generic and afraid of failure. Take risks. Sing loudly in supermarkets, go skydiving, ask that person out for a drink, and burn those bridges (which is the most overrated life precaution I’ve ever had doled out to me. Period.)

V for VALUE
Find purpose in your work and believe in your principles and you will find the meaning and respect most people struggle to find in life. I wish I discovered this earlier and been more confident with my ideas and beliefs, and not listened to all the objections I encountered when I was younger. I do believe you have to shape these through experience first before you can live by them, so be open to every idea and opinion and try to not let peer pressure and arrogance sway you. Also, be the best friend you can be: the rewards for loyalty are truly amazing and worth more than any financial gain or material items you could ever gain, people will be drawn to you and offer their friendship and loyalty back as a result. Remember most of all, if the right thing to do in life was the easiest thing to do, we’d all be wearing halos.

E for ENTERTAINING.

I try to find the fun in everything I do – in work and play. Life is a one-off show, so I go through life with an imaginary camera on me (much like Miranda). This encourages me to be continuously entertaining and remind myself not to be insufferably dull and depressing. Laughter is never to be underrated in any situation and doesn’t make you less sincere, it just makes the harder moments in life easier to digest. Finding things to stimulate you, whether it be: hobbies, coffee, drugs, sex, or a game of Twister, is the fuel you need to travel down life’s road. Again, people are drawn to those who know how to enjoy themselves and not content to suffer with their lot in life. So dazzle, laugh and sparkle at every opportunity.

So now it’s your turn, what life lessons you try to live by? Go on, I’m sure you have some.

Tagged , , ,
Aug 06 2011
1 Comment
Blog, Writing

F**k it’s August already…

My creativity bottomed to absolute zero. Quite frustrating and I also seemed to have inherited a distinct feeling of apathy usually reserved for a Liberal Democrat voter. My British counterparts encourage it, along with cynicism, general moaning and prime time TV cop dramas. It’s been almost a year since I returned to the UK and I’ve done no writing whatsoever apart from my New Year summary. Nadda. Not one ounce. Zip. It’s disgraceful, I know. This blog has probably filed a missing persons report on me. Despite my apathy, I have been craving to be creative but not found the inspiration to sit myself down in front of the many ‘Steve Jobs designed’ items and just ‘write’.

So this is me starting again. It might as well be the beginning as I think my previous blog entries were getting on the little self reflective side, so much so, the writers of ‘Dawson’s Creek’ were probably chasing commission on them.

Watch this space.

Tagged ,
Nov 03 2010
1 Comment
Blog, Creative Habit, Living Abroad, London, Oscar Hammerstein II, Stephen Sondheim, Twyla Tharp, Writing

It’s Taken Me Until November…

It seems breaking your hands and deciding to move one’s life 10,000 miles back to the UK has resulted in my blog being severely neglected over these past few months. Four entries this year and that is frankly unacceptable. To those of you who have logged on looking for the next gripping installment of ‘The Laughing Buddha’ only to find the same old entry loading up in your browser, I apologise profusely. It must be like flicking through the TV channels only to find the only thing worth watching is a rerun of ‘Friends’ on E4. Personally, it’s quite frustrating as I try and pride myself on being disciplined enough to keep this diary of musings going. I can only blame distraction, apathy and most of all lack of inspiration due to my head being full of half baked plans that I have been urging into realisation. Kicking my life into, well, something that resembles ‘a life’ I suppose.

I find myself in a state of flux (hardly anything new I hear you cry) which is not just a mental state for me but it seems to be materialising in several other aspects of my life like my career, my home and even some of my friendships. Being back in London is unfathomably easy and way too familiar for my liking. It is the mental equivalent of slipping on an old pair of slippers, yet this time I also have my eye on a shiny pair of new shoes (the shoes in question happen to be in a swanky New York department store, on sale and put on hold behind the counter with my name on them, making them especially alluring even though I am stuck on a different continent). My life has moved on so dramatically now, that certain parts of it that once fit in quite easily with my daily routine now seem to be totally defunct or inappropriate. You’d think living out of a suitcase since April and not working properly since July would throw me into further disarray but to be perfectly honest I have never been more happy in my life than right now. Attempting to carve out a new life back in London, not knowing if this next step is the right step forward, is the thing that fills me with the most unease and doubt.

The idea of sitting behind a desk and working for someone else fills me with so much dread I’d rather vomit onto a porcupine then lick it up. I have to be creative. I cannot and will not settle for anything less. Sounds dramatic and I suppose it is. For the first time in my life the thought of permanence and routine bores me – this used to be the safety net I would seek out and hold onto desperately to in order to give my life structure. I don’t know what the antidote is but I know I need to step out and embrace my creative side again. I need to be embrace the unknown and allow creativity to flow back into my bones. It scares me as I really don’t really know how to achieve this. I feel like a priest who’s been asked to become an atheist or a dog being ordered to meow. I know what’s involved, I’ve seen other people do it, I just don’t have the tools available to make it the transition. I read the fantastic book ‘The Creative Habit’ by the choreographer Twyla Tharp which has been a great starting block for me as it’s practical and full of sound advice. No airy fairy crap most self-help books insist on preaching. I realise it’s just inexperience and fear that holds me back mostly. Practicality is also an issue, I simply don’t have the funds to suddenly be a full time writer or performer. I went to a talk given by Stephen Sondheim, a musical theatre hero mine and to many other theatre fans. He spoke about his mentor Oscar Hammerstein II and it made me think how envious I was the had someone in his life who saw enough potential in him to be something greater than he was. I’d quite like a mentor. A guiding and enthusing force of good in my life. I can lend my talents towards many things but my concentration and impatience tends to let me down. I am reminded of this constantly with the random notebooks full of ideas stuffed in various bags and boxes of mine, the half finished documents and scripts on my computer or the songs yet to be memorised and technically mastered. I do wonder if it’s cynicism, perhaps indecisiveness or even age that stops me from committing or just a life long habit I have failed to keep in check. To be great at one thing when I have the urge to do a hundred million things all at once. ‘Focus’ is the big word I need to remind myself of over the next few months.

Sorry, what was that?

Tagged , , , , , , ,
Aug 10 2010
Leave a comment
Accident, augusten burroughs, Blog, David Sedaris, Video, Writing

A Couple of Screws…

Those who know me know that last year I had an accident. Quite a big one. I broke my hands. Yes, that’s right – in the plural sense. In fact, I broke eight bones in total – both wrists that now have what are affectionately known as ‘Herbert Screws’, some other small bones in my left hand and most significantly my left arm, which needed a ‘Wolverine’ style plate bolted into place. I only realised today, I never wrote in detail about how this happened but to cut a long story short: I was on a date.

You’d think this would have been quite an ordeal for me, well it was and quite hideously painful too (strange how I curiously never imagined broken bones to be that painful until then) This aside, the episode wasn’t that surprising given my track record with dating; just ask my friends. So much so, when news of my injury reached my best friend back home in London, it didn’t illicit a sympathetic and frantically worried call, no quite the opposite really. As I lay in the hospital bed with my arms bound in plaster and bandages, with my iPhone on speaker mode balanced precariously on my chest, I could hear the faint unimpressed voice of my friend Dan say “Richard, it’s time to write that book now.”

I’ve toyed with the idea of writing about my dating escapades every now and then, I’ve even posted a few of them on here – but a whole book? Too self indulgent and self deprecating perhaps? It sounded like a crazy idea before and too ‘Bridget Jones’ for my liking but now I’m thinking it might not be such an idiotic idea after all. Gay fiction in general makes me want to hurl into a cheap plastic carrier bag in front a room full of strangers and the only gay biographical authors I do admire are David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs. I’d have to have some message beyond “Hey look at the crazy dating antics of this guy, ain’t he hysterical?!” Writing something bigger than a few paragraphs is what this blog has been leading up to I suppose; the trick is for me is to stop thinking and actually do more and just sit down and write goddamn it. Am I capable of doing it? I just have to let go of being such a perfectionist and allowing myself to be distracted by, let’s face it, everything.

Where to start?

Here’s the wonderful David Sedaris reading and extract from his last book “When You Are Engulfed In Flames”:

Tagged , , , ,
Feb 23 2009
Leave a comment
Blog, Writing

On the go…

Apparently, now I succumbed to the world of new technology and bought myself an iPhone, I can now post entries to my blog whilst I’m on the go! This is quite a thrilling concept as I’m hoping it will encourage me write more.
– Post From My iPhone

N.B. It didn’t.

Tagged , ,
Oct 12 2008
Leave a comment
Australia, Blog, Friends, Job, Writing

At the bottom of the U…

I don’t want to alarm you all with another seemingly negative and quite possibly depressing blog entry but I am having to write about the last month of my life, which can only be described as one of the hardest periods of my life in a very long time. Hence the lack of entries on my blog.

The dangerous concoction of unemployment, limited cash flow, no immediate friends, love life frustrations and a career and life dilemma has resulted in a very dark period for me. Yes, folks I’m going through a swell time at the moment. The initial “I’m going to live in Australia” decision is now very real. The life changing action of moving one’s life abroad has reared it’s real and very ugly head. Warts and all. Incredibly unforgiving and unglamorous too. The positive to this, is that the only way is up hopefully, plus the stress has made me loose quite a bit of weight and with the combination of a tan I look great! Although, if it gets any worse I may have knock on door of that omnipresent deity that claims to run my life and ask for my money back.

‘Stir crazy’ are the words to describe the time I have to myself whilst looking for a new job and I have way too much time to think. Not good for someone like me who has an internal ‘Woody Allen‘ inside of him. I am hoping this week will change everything and that I will secure the job I’ve set my sights on for the last month. I’m sending those positive vibes out into the universe and claiming it as my own. I know I would do a good job in that role and I could really grow into the role. Watch this space as they say.

My new found friendships have also been affected by this lull and my relationships with those I care about deeply have also unfortunately been victims to this. As well as this being thoroughly distressing, I find myself regressing and unable to grasp the bigger picture and losing my confidence completely in situations that would have never bothered me years ago.

So as I brush the crap off myself now and face the world straight on, I can only have faith that the next step goes up! Watch this space…

Tagged , , , , , ,
Feb 27 2008
1 Comment
English Language, Rant, Words, Writing

OK?…


Sometimes I wonder if words I spell are correct, words I have continued to spell for years sometimes. I hate to be incorrect. I make every effort to ensure words are written properly and my grammar is also in tip top working order, even though I do admit failing occasionally with syntax (the result I feel of thinking too quickly and typing too slowly). I realise the English language evolves continuously, but the wonderful rules we have created enabling us communicate effectively with each other is also in danger of dying out if we’re not too careful. I think it’s important to keep it good working order so to speak. So it terrifies me that the latest generation horrifically uses ‘TXT SPK’ in everyday conversation now or should I say ‘CONVO’. I put my case forward with this aberration below:

ooow god c i dnt no hu u r babe im gessing u go 2 beal 6form but atleeast u no wat im talkin about….! this is frm head to toe “storkage” the guyz probably gona fink were a bunch of pedoz LOOL…..x

To be quite frank. What the fuck is that?

A grown 16 year old woman wrote this on a Facebook page. I know it’s a “Social Networking Site” but there is no excuse. Emmeline Pankhurst is probably turning in her grave at the thought this girl now has the right to vote but not actually given herself the right to spell and form complete sentences. I felt quite sick reading it and wanted to violently stick the Oxford English Dictionary into one of her orifices. If you actually ‘translate’ it, she also thinks 15 years olds can be classified as pedophiles because they fancy their teacher (who is a friend of mine). Yes – after three, we can sigh simultaneously together. Do I sound like a Daily Mail journalist yet?

Anyway, I return to the point in hand. One of the simplest words Okay or OK used in my last entry, was one such word that made me think twice about it. I wanted to know where this phrase came from. Well, I wanted to know, as I have a keen obsession over the English language and also love to consume useless facts. According to Dictionary.com (I know it’s American but I will find out what dependable old Oxford say too) it is derived from the following:

OK is a quintessentially American term that has spread from English to many other languages. Its origin was the subject of scholarly debate for many years until Allen Walker Read showed that OK is based on a joke of sorts. OK is first recorded in 1839 but was probably in circulation before that date. During the 1830s there was a humoristic fashion in Boston newspapers to reduce a phrase to initials and supply an explanation in parentheses. Sometimes the abbreviations were misspelled to add to the humour. OK was used in March 1839 as an abbreviation for all correct, the joke being that neither the O nor the K was correct. Originally spelled with periods, this term outlived most similar abbreviations owing to its use in President Martin Van Buren’s 1840 campaign for reelection. Because he was born in Kinderhook, New York, Van Buren was nicknamed Old Kinderhook, and the abbreviation proved eminently suitable for political slogans. That same year, an editorial referring to the receipt of a pin with the slogan O.K. had this comment: “frightful letters … significant of the birth-place of Martin Van Buren, old Kinderhook, as also the rallying word of the Democracy of the late election,’all correct’ …. Those who wear them should bear in mind that it will require their most strenuous exertions … to make all things O.K.”

“How fascinating!” and yes, I’m aware only myself said that just now.

Tagged , , ,
May 14 2007
Leave a comment
Blog, Writing

Oh dear…

I’ve been looking back at my blog in recent months and I seem to have done it again. Well, the opposite this time. There I am writing flippant, jocular entries to satisfy those who worried my blog was getting morbid and now it’s just silly, of little substance and frankly has no thought whatsoever. I need to verbalise my thought processes more carefully, however mundane. My writing suffers badly and it becomes dry and something the editor of Heat may think was an ‘interesting Carrie Bradshaw approach’ to observing life. I’m shuddering in my cheap IKEA chair now. Dear Lord. Strike me down now. I’m meant to encourage great writing. Actually, don’t strike me down just yet, I have a show to do in four weeks time and have no understudy. Anyway, I digress. I’ve decided and I’m sorry now in advance, if future musings seem depressive. I’m not. Please don’t call social services or suggest seeing a psychiatrist. This is what writing is about – exploring every aspect and the negative parts are so much fun to write about. Exorcising those demons and woes in tiny, thought provoking words, syllables, sentences and paragraphs, it helps put everything into joyful, toe-tapping, ‘Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder’ perspective in a weird way. I miss it and I will now write whatever the buggery-hell I want to write. Self-editing in order to please the masses is for people who go round saying things like “I do love The Vicar of Dibley but I just don’t get BBC2″. (I wonder if John Craven worried as much, putting together his child-friendly news stories for Newsround.) I hope this will eventually kick start something within me to get my novel and script ideas into shape. After the show, I must start breaking the concepts down and figure out what will work and what is shockingly bad, I might as well cast it aside and lock it up in a small safe marked “Step away now. Dull beyond words”.

Tagged ,
May 08 2007
Leave a comment
Family, Writing

For Grandjie…

You were not my guide.

You were my feet upon which I walked ahead with into my future.

You were not my comforter.

You were the hands that covered my heart when I was cold.

You were not my teacher.

For you were my smile when I found knowledge and achievement.

You were not just my friend.

You were my world. My energy. My joy.

Tagged ,
Mar 23 2007
Leave a comment
Rant, SKY, Writing

Damn you SKY, damn you to Hell!…

The global communications company SKY has invaded the comfort of my abode and wreaked havoc with everything it touched. After naively thinking their £26 a month deal for TV, Broadband and Phone offer would be a good idea and signing my life into their hands, I am now currently residing in a flat that is bereft of terrestrial TV, no broadband and have been billed £20 for the experience. Ironically, no one at SKY thinks this is bad for a new customer or can communicate within their customer services departments. Apparently, it takes 3 working days to log a complaint which is most likely to be filed under ‘IGNORE AND TRANSLATE INTO FARSI’ so only limited individuals who fluent in a dead language are able to respond and help you. I am now ‘sans’ internet access at home after SKY decided to disconnect us two weeks ago, without warning or sending the correct ‘technical team’ to install a dish to our roof, connect the relevant cables and routers and, you know, basically do their job as stated. According to Rupert’s people, second floor flats require a ‘specialist team’ team of installers, who are few and far between, obviously trained along side Japanese Samurai, the Gurkhas and elite SAS soldiers. This does mean I’m unable to regularly update this blog until it’s all been sorted, which probably at this rate, will be around the same time the London Olympics opens in 2012.

Tagged , ,
← Older posts
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 932 other followers